I am not naturally light. I am imperfection wrapped up in beauty. I am trodden down with anxiety. And if left to my own devices, my mind wanders into the constant depression that sits on the edge of my otherwise blissful life. Change doesn’t come easy for me. I cry in restaurants on the daily. I wake up with a plan, and usually only get a quarter of my to-do list done at the end of the day. I’m fearful, of everything.
These are my flaws, but they are also my strengths. I’ve found to embrace them means embracing myself. It’s these revelations that led me on a journey of self-discovery through 2017. Enough was enough. I was done living a life that didn’t make me happy. I was done searching for joy in all the wrong places.
Instead, I went after contentment. I went after moments of joy in the midst of sorrow. I sought change, and it changed me.
And as a result, I found love. But it didn’t happen until I found myself.
I found a partner. Someone who accepts all these flaws, and asks me to accept his own. In him, I found a new home. One that is no longer a place but is now a heart that leads me to comfort, joy, acceptance, patience, and even happiness.
He gets me. And, sometimes he doesn’t. That’s the balance of it all. We’re enough alike to relate, and different enough to complement each other. We argue, we laugh, and we do it all together.
That’s all I came here to say. That I’ve found the one who my heart loves, and it’s great. But it took finding myself first, and wading through the unknown to reach that light at the end of the tunnel. It’s all a journey.
A journey home.
